


Black by Any Other Color

by mckinlily



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: And Allura, Gen, Grief, Hunk character growth, Hurt/Comfort, Keith doesn't know how to deal, Mentions of Other Voltron Paladins, Post-Season/Series 02, fair warning: Shiro isn't actually here just the main focus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 10:51:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11416386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mckinlily/pseuds/mckinlily
Summary: Team Voltron is in shambles. Lost and hurting in the wake of Shiro's disappearance, they can hardly stand each other, let alone work together. And in the midst of this, Hunk finds Keith in the Black Lion’s hangar.Hunk learns something about Keith, leadership, and his role as the Yellow Paladin.





	Black by Any Other Color

If you had asked Hunk a few weeks ago what living without Shiro would be like, he would have said it would be hard.

And he would have been wrong. Living without Shiro wasn’t hard. It was _impossible_.

The team had fallen apart almost within hours of finding the Black Lion empty. They had tried to work together at first, emotions high, both Allura and Keith demanding action. But that quickly deteriorated. Keith yelled at Hunk for not figuring it out quickly enough. Then Lance yelled at Keith. Lance didn’t stop yelling at Keith. Hunk started panic rambling. Allura shouted at them to get it together. And Lance yelled at Allura. Then Pidge straight up zapped Allura with her bayard, and everything went to pot.

After that, they never got it back together. Lance snapped at Keith every time Keith so much as opened his mouth, and Keith wasn’t helping matters by becoming increasingly bossy and demanding. Pidge had checked out completely, diving in to her tech and code, and reacting violently to anyone who interrupted her. So far, Lance was the only who had been able to convince her to eat at all, and he had a heavy bruise across his cheek for his trouble.

And Hunk… Hunk wasn’t doing so well, either. He should be working on tech with Pidge. He _should_ be. He tried to but—He couldn’t think. His chest constantly felt stiff and immobile, tensed so tight that every breath was fight, and his fingers prickled. Anxiety. Hunk _knew_ anxiety. But none of his coping mechanisms did any good right now. Tech felt a lump of foreign mess. Baking increasingly ended in disasters that had him sobbing in the kitchen. All his thoughts came back in circles.

Why was it _Shiro_ who was gone? They could have made it without anyone else. It would have been awful, scary—but when they lost Allura, Shiro knew how to get her back right away. If Shiro were here, they would be making some sort of progress. Without him—

Allura tried to help. She tried to lead, and honestly, she was the only one any of them would listen to now. But she couldn’t sooth over all the ruffled tempers, and her encouraging words never seemed quite the same as Shiro’s. She could tell them _why_ they needed to succeed. But she couldn’t make them believe that they _could_.

And then there was that time when she’s screamed at all of them for arguing incessantly, and they’d fled the bridge for fear of her wrath. Only to look back a minute later to find her collapsed in Shiro’s vacated chair, sobbing.

They were just a mess. An absolute disaster. Hunk made his way through the castle after another failure in the kitchen, his extremities shaking.

What if they never found Shiro? What if he never came back? Could they survive? What if they needed Voltron? What if they just needed to _work together_? Would Keith leave them all? Would Pidge? What if Shiro was captured by the Galra somewhere, suffering because they couldn’t find him? What if he was d _—_

Hunk shook his head frantically. No. _No!_ They had to be able to find Shiro. They _had_ to. They couldn’t survive without him. Hunk started hurrying faster, rubbing his hands over his eyes. Bad thoughts. Bad thoughts. He was almost to Yellow’s hangar. Being with Yellow would help. It wouldn’t fix anything, but it would _help_. When he was with Yellow, he felt just a lick of stability. A touch of peace. Almost enough to breathe.

But as Hunk made his way to his Lion, he noticed his hangar wasn’t the only one open.

The Black Lion’s was open as well.

Perhaps that shouldn’t be odd. Since they’d first discovered Shiro was missing, all of them had visited the Black Lion numerous times. But when it became clear that the Lion wasn’t going to help them and that it wouldn’t respond to Keith _or_ Allura, they had taken to avoiding it.

So why was the hangar door open now?

Hunk paused at the door, peering in. The Black Lion sat on its haunches, in docking position with its head held high, gigantic size looming over the hangar. Hunk didn’t want to spend more time here than he had to, but it seemed like a bad idea to just ignore weird things happening. Especially in _Black’s_ hangar.

Nothing seemed out of order, though. The tools and cables in their places along the walls, organized if not neatly. The fifty odd cups of water Shiro had left scattered around the hangar. But then, there, curled up next to Black’s paw:

_Keith_.

Hunk had never seen Keith like this before. He was curled up into a tiny ball, his knees pulled to his chest, arms locked around his legs, and his face buried in it all. Every few seconds, his shoulders twitched.

It almost looking like—Ah man, was Keith _crying_?

They had known, intellectually, that losing Shiro had hit Keith harder than the rest. Keith never talked much about his home life, but it was pretty clear that, even on Earth, Shiro was all he had. And he had already lost Shiro once. But Keith reacted by to that becoming angry and brittle and trying to take charge so maybe their sympathy remained a little…theoretical. Not that any of them didn’t feel bad for him, but when face to face with him, it was just easier to feel angry.

Keith’s shoulders hitched again, and this time it was accompanied by the faintest, muffled gasp of a sob.

Hunk shouldn’t be here. He was nosy, yes, but witnessing Keith’s breakdown? Not his place, too private. He should edge out of here and let—

Hunk’s blood ran cold. The rest of that thought had been _let Shiro handle it._

But Shiro wasn’t _here_. That was the whole problem. The weight of Shiro’s absence whooshed through him, hitting harder and lower than it ever had before. Because suddenly it wasn’t just Shiro, their leader, the Black Paladin they were missing. It was Shiro the person, the friend, and who in the whole _universe_ could connect with Keith besides Shiro?

Who _was_ Keith without Shiro?

Alone, obviously. Curled up and crying beside the Black Lion’s paw. He shouldn’t be left in distress like that. Hunk needed to do something. He needed to go get—

Shiro wasn’t here, darn it. And yet the instinct to rely on him was so strong, it was hard to think of anything else. Hunk needed to get a grip. There had to be someone who could help Keith. Not Lance, obviously. Even if he’d be a good option normally, he and Keith were way too explosive now. And Pidge, bless her, really wasn’t so great at the emotional side of things. Allura, then? But no. The tension left over from the Galra thing still hadn’t dissipated completely. For a moment, Hunk entertained the thought of Coran but finally rejected it. Somehow, Hunk knew Keith would never open up to Coran.

Which left… Hunk.

Hunk’s stomach twitched. No no no. This was _not_ his place. It was one thing to watch out for Lance, who he’d known for years, or to help Pidge, fellow tech nerd and basically a little sister. Keith was… different. There was really no other way to put it. Maybe it was best to just leave him alone. Keith obviously didn’t want company; that’s why he was holed up in this forgotten hangar in the first place. Hunk turned away. Keith was a private person. It was probably best just to let him handle this on his own.

_Was that what Shiro would do?_

Hunk froze, the thought coming out of nowhere. But he _wasn’t_ Shiro. No one was. No one could be Shiro, and it was pointless for any of them to try.

But would Shiro ever let one of his teammates suffer alone?

It didn’t matter. Shiro wasn’t _here_. But—But—

But Shiro never _had_ let one of them suffer alone. Never once so long as he had been aware of it. It didn’t matter how big or small the problem was, every single time, for every single one of them, Shiro had been there, a calm presence, reassuring words, a promise that things could get better. Shiro would never leave Keith alone like this.

But Hunk wasn’t Shiro, and that was… That meant…

Leaving Keith alone wouldn’t be what Shiro would want him to do, was it? Shiro—Shiro would want him to try. Shiro would believe he _could_.

Hunk owed this to Shiro.

So with a deep breath, Hunk made his way into the hangar. As he came closer, he realized that Keith’s shoulders didn’t just hitch with ever so soft, gasp-like sobs. Keith was trembling all over, tiny shivers like a drown kitten.

There was something very disconcerting about the way Keith cried. Small, wrapped up in ball tighter than Hunk even thought possible, his arms so tense they might have turned to steel. And now, just feet away, Hunk _still_ couldn’t quite hear Keith’s sobs, and he realized that Keith was hardly sobbing at all, but rather holding his breath and all but choking when he gasped for air.

How… How did someone cry like this? To Hunk, it just felt _wrong._

Hunk made sure to let his footsteps echo as he approached. “Keith?”

Keith froze, a sudden, complete stillness beyond what should be humanly possible. The stillness was even more disconcerting than the crying. Hunk couldn’t hear a sound beyond his own heartbeat: Keith had even stopped breathing.

Hunk shuffled a little closer. “Keith? Are you all right?”

Keith’s throat unstuck with an awful, muffled sound, but his voice was uncomfortably near steady when he said, “I’m fine.”

“Right. Stupid question,” said Hunk. He slid down the Black Lion’s paw to sit beside the ball of Keith. Hunk wanted to hug Keith, but that seemed like maybe not the best option. So instead, he exhaled deeply, looking straight ahead.

“You’re not the only one who misses Shiro, you know.”

Keith’s shoulder’s jumped to his ears. Somehow, he curled up even _tighter._ “I _know_ that!” he snapped, voice wrecked and snarled. “I-I _know_. Okay?”

“Hey, no, man! That’s not—”

Keith turned away from Hunk, the little he could while still remaining a locked in a ball.

Hunk backpeddled, mentally reviewing what he had said and trying to figure out what happened. He’d meant it as a comfort, commiseration. But Keith—

“You don’t have to stay with me,” said Keith, tone still acidic. “You can be with the others.”

“What?” said Hunk. “Keith, what—”

A violent shudder ran over Keith’s shoulders. “It’s o-okay.” And now his voice started to shake, and it made it that much worse. “I know you don’t want to be h-here.”

Hunk opened his mouth to say something, but Keith just kept going.

“I k-know you’re all m-mad at me. You d-d-don’t—” Keith took a deep, wet breath that rattled the whole way through. “You don’t have to.”  And he curled in his little ball to prove his point.

“Keith, man.” Hunk gulped. “I’m going to touch you. Is that okay?” Keith didn’t answer, but another shudder ran through him and Hunk couldn’t _not_. He placed one large hand on Keith’s boney shoulder and squeezed. “I want to. Really.”

“I know you’re all mad at me,” Keith said again.

“We’re not!” said Hunk. A pause. “Okay, well, not _exactly_. I mean, you have been pretty bossy lately. And pushy. And sort of overbearing—Actually, about that. What made you think _you_ had to be the leader?”

Hunk hadn’t been expecting an answer, but Keith shuttered and choked something into his knees. Hunk’s eyebrows pulled together.

“What was that?”

“Shiro...” Keith’s voice rattled. “S-S-Shiro—” And then Keith just broke. The first real, honest sob ripped out of him. And kept coming. Keith unlocked his arms from around his knees, instead pressing his hands over his eyes and mouth, trying to stifle his ugly sobs even as tears leaked over his fingers.

“Hey. Hey, man, it’s all right. It’s all right, okay?” Hunk put his arm around Keith, pulling him closer. Keith shook violently against him. And now Hunk could hear the hitch and catch of his breath as he cried, see the patches of red skin through his fingers. Hunk tried to pull him closer, but Keith remained as stiff as a board, either unwilling or unable to accept the comfort.

“He w-w-w— _wanted_ me to lead V-Voltron.” Keith choked on his sobs again. “Before—I-I didn’t want—I t-told him—B-b-but he said, i-if anything h-happened—happened to him, h-he w-w-wanted me to-to lead.” Keith gulped before the words ripped out of him: “And I _can’t!_ ”

Keith dissolved, his entire body shaking in terrible, gut-wrenching sobs. He still wouldn’t lean into Hunk, just doubled over his already wet knees.

“Oh man,” whispered Hunk. “Keith, that—that—”

Hunk didn’t have the words. Losing Shiro was terrible in itself. That he’d also been Keith’s best friend _sucked_. But this? On top of feeling overwhelmed and scared, _on top_ of losing the only family he had, Keith also felt like he’d failed him?

Tears started flowing down Hunk’s face because he knew if there was _one thing_ that could possibly hurt more than losing Shiro, it was disappointing him. He pulled Keith closer, even as Keith remained stiff and bony as ever. “It’s okay. Keith, it’s okay. I promise.”

Keith just shuddered and kept crying.

“I-I-I—I was s-supposed to pilot the Black L-L-Lion. And even that I c-can’t—”

“Neither can Allura,” Hunk pointed out. “That’s not your fault. The Lions chose their pilots.”

“But I _d_ - _did_. Once. But n-now—”

“Well, Shiro was in danger that time, right?” reasoned Hunk. “Maybe it’s just—”

“Shiro’s in danger _now!_ ”

Keith’s whole body jerked with his outburst. Hunk stilled, half expecting Keith to rip himself violently out of his grip. But after gasping for breath, he slumped back, finally leaning against Hunk, his cries now more like whimpers.

Heart aching, Hunk rubbed Keith’s back in slow, soothing circles. “Look, the Lions are giant magical robot cats. No one really knows how they work,” he soothed. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It just didn’t work.”

Keith whimpered against his knees. Hunk kept rubbing his back.

“It’s not your fault. Okay? It _can’t_ be your fault.” Hunk tried to look to see if Keith was hearing him, but Keith’s face was still buried in his hands. “You’re doing the best you can.”

Keith choked. “I’m so _bad_ at it.”

“Hey, hey. It’s okay,” said Hunk. “It’s okay to be bad at things sometimes. You’re trying your best.”

Keith viciously shook his head, words bubbling out of him, choked and half-formed. “It’s not enough. It’s _never_ enough. I never—I can’t—”

“Hey, stop,” said Hunk. “Keith—”

“I don’t know how to do this!” Keith burst out. “Every time I try, I just make things worse. I’m not Shiro! I want to _so badly_ , but all I do is ruin things!”

“Keith, _no_.” Hunk wrapped both his arms around Keith and hugged him tight. “Keith, you’re wrong. You haven’t ruined anything. You’ve done your best.”

Keith gave him a disbelieving huff.

“No. I promise. You’ve done your best.” Because Hunk could see it now. Hunk could see how he had tried. It might have been imperfect and clumsy and grating, but Keith—awkward, hotheaded, impulsive Keith—had tried so _hard_ to fill the hole Shiro had left. Holy quiznacks, but he had _tried._

“It doesn’t matter,” said Keith, tone miserable and resigned. “It’s never enough.”

_It’s never enough._ Like _Keith_ wasn’t enough. Hunk felt a surge of protectiveness. Keith might be right mess, but he was _more_ than enough. Where did he get the idea—? But then Hunk thought of what little he knew of Keith’s past: Orphan. Foster kid. Discipline problem—

Had _no one_ ever told Keith he was enough just the way he was?

Shiro. Shiro might have.

_Oh_.

“Hey, Keith?” Hunk spoke gently as possible, waiting until Keith gave some sign that he’d heard him before continuing. “I don’t think Shiro would be disappointed in you at all. I think he’d be proud of how you’ve tried to step up.”

That opened the floodgates. Hunk wasn’t sure Keith believed him, but he was full-out crying, _really_ crying now, while Hunk rubbed his back. And Hunk held him, willing to wait while Keith’s tears soaked his shirt.

“Look,” said Hunk quietly once Keith had cried himself out a good bit. “Do you remember when Pidge wanted to leave Voltron to find her family? In, like, the very beginning?”

Keith nodded.

“Do you remember what Shiro said, about people having to _want_ to be on a team?”

Keith stilled. After a long moment, he said, “Yeah.”

“Well, that’s still true,” said Hunk. “You can’t force people to be part of your team. They have to choose to be. And lately, no one’s wanted to work together on _anything_.”

Keith gulped. “I-I should have—If I—”

“Even Shiro couldn’t lead a team that refuses to be lead,” said Hunk quietly.

Hunk waited to see if the words sunk in. It was hard to tell with Keith. He thought maybe they had, a little.

“Look, Keith, I know you’re not Shiro. No one is, and no one _can_ be. But you’re doing the best you can, and you don’t have to do it alone anymore, okay? I’ll help.”

For the first time since Hunk walked into the hangar, Keith lifted his head and actually looked at him. He looked even worse than Hunk had expected, his eyes bloodshot and puffy, tears smeared all across his face, but he was looking at Hunk with just the barest glimmer of hope. “Really?”

“Yeah,” said Hunk, swallowing an “of course.” It must not be so obvious to Keith. “I mean,” continued Hunk, “I’m really not good at keeping a cool head in battle, but I do have people skills. So maybe between the two of us we can make one Shiro? Half a Shiro? Until we get the real Shiro back, of course.”

Keith gave a choke that was almost a laugh, wiping at his face with the sleeve of his jacket.

Hunk hummed. “He really means a lot to you, doesn’t he?”

It took a moment, but Keith nodded. “Shiro… Shiro was the only one who really cared. Who—” Keith gulped then added in a broken whisper, “who stayed.”

“We’ll get him back,” Hunk promised. His own anxieties and doubts had been plaguing him for days, but for Keith, he could believe. Shiro wouldn’t give up in Hunk’s place. And Hunk wasn’t Shiro, but…

Hunk was starting to realize that wasn’t an excuse.

“And you know that’s not true anymore, right?” added Hunk.

Keith just started at him. “What?”

“That Shiro’s the only one who cares. We all do. Everyone on this ship.”

Keith shrugged a little and didn’t meet Hunk’s eyes. He set his chin on his knees, staring out at the floor, saying nothing.

Hunk tried not to be offended by that. “We do,” he repeated. “Even if—I mean, we haven’t been doing such a great job of showing it lately. But we _do_ care about you.”

“You’d rather follow Lance,” said Keith. “I can tell.”

Hunk opened his mouth to—what? argue? defend himself? unpack the whole psychology that was Lance? But he stopped himself. _What would Shiro do?_

“I think…” He hesitated a moment. He thought Shiro would be really disappointed in the type of team they'd been lately. “I think Shiro must have seen something in you, Keith. And I trust Shiro. So I’m willing to give you a chance.”

Keith lifted his head staring at Hunk for a long time, then, so quiet Hunk could barely hear him, he whispered, “Thanks.”

The honest relief in Keith’s voice made Hunk wish he’d tried listening to Keith a lot earlier.

Keith scrubbed his hands over his face. He was quiet for a minute, then swiftly got to his feet. “I—I’m going to go hit the training deck.”

“Wha—? Oh. Okay then.” Right, Keith wasn’t used to normal levels of human interaction.

Keith shifted awkwardly. “But, um, really,” he muttered to his feet. “Thank you. Hunk.”

“Any time, buddy.”

Keith’s eyes crinkled at the corners, still shaky and tearstained but the beginning of a smile. With an awkward little hitch of his shoulders and a mutter of something that might have been “you too,” he left the hangar.

Hunk collapsed against the Black Lion. As much as helping Keith grounded him, it also left him feeling hollow and gutted. It as just so _much_. Keith and the Galra and Shiro—

Hunk’s train of thought was cut off by a low rumble in his ribs. He frowned. It felt like Yellow Lion except heavier somehow. And darker? Seemingly without his input, a memory came to mind.

— _looking into the kitchen, hovering, uncertain._

_“Something wrong, Hunk?” Shiro, as in previously thought dead_ Takashi Shirogane, _leaning against the wall beside him, eyebrows up._

_“I just want to cook. Because cooking calms me down, you know? And, like, maybe all this freaky alien stuff is sort of normal for you and I mean, Lance is like totally eating it up and somehow I feel like Keith thinks this is normal? But for me, it’s crazy! Suddenly I’m mentally connected to a giant mechanical cat, and weird purple aliens are shooting at me and we can form this extra giant robot? And—Oh man. Oh_ man _we could have died. They were shooting at us. We’re on the other side of the universe. We should be_ dead _—”_

_“Hey.” Shiro’s flesh hand warm on his shoulder. “I know it’s scary. It’s a lot to take in. But we didn’t die today. That’s the important part. We’re all still here.”_

_An exhale. “Yeah. Okay.”_

_Catching his eye. “And, just so you know, the robot lions are wild for me, too.”_

_A laugh, shaking through his chest, dislodging something tense and sticky there. Shiro’s warm, pleased smile._

_"So, cooking, huh?”_

_"Yeah. My grandma taught me. It’s soothing and just makes sense, you know? But it’s an alien kitchen and Princess Allura’s ship…”_

_“Well, we’ve all got to eat, right?” The creases of Shiro’s eyes as he smiles. His hands warm on Hunk’s shoulders. “Go. Claim your kitchen.”_

Back in the hangar, Hunk felt the stir of the Black Lion’s presence. _Go. Claim your place._

It didn’t exactly take away the ugly feelings, but they weren’t the only feelings there anymore. Because Hunk understood now. No matter what Shiro saw in him, Keith couldn’t lead Voltron alone.

But that was the thing about Voltron: Keith shouldn’t have to _be_ alone.

First one to get on board was Lance. Because Keith was right: they wanted to follow Lance, and, more particularly, they _needed_ Lance. Lance, who kept track of all the moving pieces, who tended to see the big picture, the insignificant details others lost. And Lance, moreover, who noticed _people_. Keith had focus, but Lance had breath. If they needed Keith to make split second calls in battle, they needed Lance on the planning committee.

Which meant confronting Lance and forcing him to face his emotions directly. No more of this projecting onto Keith nonsense. Hunk had let that go on too long, first figuring Shiro could handle it, then not wanting to get in the way of Lance’s outlet for his pain. But no more. Without Shiro to redirect or shimmer down tempers, they needed to regulate their own emotions. If that meant Hunk shoulders a greater emotional burden for the team, he would do it.

Lance could do it, too. He just needed owe up to how scared he was, how inadequate he felt, and how worried he was that they’d fail. If he could do that, he could put his energy towards more productive things than butting heads with Keith. And maybe Hunk would have to make a conscious effort to stand up for Keith more, too, but he could do that. It’d be worth it because when Lance and Keith managed to work together, they actually made a pretty formidable team.

And if Hunk could get Lance on board… They might have a chance. They really might. Pidge, she didn’t really want to shut them out; she was just hurting too much to avoid it. First losing her dad and her brother and now Shiro— It was defensive mechanism. Pidge always struck first when she thought she was going to get hurt. But Hunk thought he could lure her back in, especially if Keith and Lance weren’t fighting all the time. If she felt that talking to them was _doing_ something…

And Hunk would have to keep watching out for Keith. Reminding him he wasn’t alone here. Hunk should probably look out for Allura some, too. That was something Shiro did, right? Even if it just meant making sure the rest of them listened to her orders. It was a heavy burden that fell on Hunk’s shoulders, but then they had always had a heavy responsibility. It was just time he stepped up to it.

Hunk looked up at the Black Lion, the loss of Shiro a burning hole in his chest but underneath that a steady, steely sort of determination.

“I know you didn’t ask me to,” he said to the impassive Lion, the space wherever Shiro had disappeared to. “But I’m going to look after your team for you. Until you get back. And probably after that, too. I think—” Hunk’s voice wavered. He let it and let the tears spill onto his cheeks before pressing his lips together and steeling himself again. “—I think that’s what you’d want me to do. So…Yeah. I’m going to do that.”

The Black Lion remained as cold and dormant as ever, and Shiro, wherever he was, was too far away to hear him. But somewhere two hangars over, Hunk felt his words resonate. _Yes_ , the Yellow Lion seemed to say, _This is who you are supposed to be._

And so Hunk, Hunk who was scared and nervous and cautious and doubtful, Hunk who was the Yellow Paladin, took up one quarter of the burden of leadership and walked out of the hangar.

It was high time they re-formed team Voltron. And Hunk was going to make that happen.

**Author's Note:**

> Because people in the fandom can get pretty defensive about the characters: this fic isn't about people at their best. In case you're mad about your fav not shining. ALL the characters (expect maybe Keith who is just a disaster) are capable of doing better than they are. But I wanted to explore team Voltron at its weakest, especially in the loss of Shiro. Sometimes being strong isn't being incapable of being weak, but being very weak and choosing against that anyway. And that's a little bit of what I was playing with here.
> 
> Anyway, if you got this far--Thank you for reading!!! I love comments and kudos *wink wink* :D


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